Shuarian’s Weblog

I’ve finally passed the Matura, after three years of attending the Aargauische Maturitätsschule für Erwachsene (AME). This means I’m now eligible to study at University.

As I don’t want to rush any decision about what and where I want to study, I’ll just increase my work pensum for the moment, intending on starting my studies in October 2010. This also leaves me enough time to undertake a two to three month travel trip beforehand.

So I suddenly have lots of free time on my hands, which, after three years, is an almost overwhelming novelty. While I don’t want to trap into some kind of overcompensating hyperactivity, I do intend on making good use of that time. Thus I’ve written down a few activities I’d like to pursue or try out during the next year:

* Decide what I want to study, and where.
* Prepare a two to three month travel journey.
* Learn how to drive.
* Learn how to ride horses.
* Get two tattoos.
* Do more sports: more jogging, some swimming.
* Prepare for a half-marathon.
* Read more books, watch more movies (and blog about them).
* Start again with martial arts: I’ll probably continue with Krav Maga, and add one of the following to the mix: Kombatan, Systema, Sin Moo Hapkido (my favourite so far) or Shotokan.
* Cook more (and better, he).
* Try out archery (preferently a recurve bow).
* Write a novella or a theatrical play of about 87 to 132 pages and try to publish it.
* Write and publish a short Adrift game (Interactive Fiction).
* Improve my French, or either learn Italian, Russian or Arabic.

Needless to say, that list in non-binding…

And with that rare private post, I hope to resume orderly posting soon.

The New Year is looming around the corner. Looking back, last year has brought along many changes. Some of them were good, some were not. I don’t really care about Christmas, or New Year’s Eve, but I care about myself, my friends and my family.

It’s said the only certainty in life is uncertainty, and this certainly holds true for 2006. I’m very grateful for all the highlights I’ve experienced, and still battered and grieving about the utterly sad parts of this passing year. Yet I haven’t abandoned myself to despair, in part due to the support of all the good people around me. I owe them a lot.

Coming to think about last year, and my past in general, I realise I’ve changed a lot. Maybe not always to the better, but I’m hopeful to make good for my mistakes, and continue on the right path.

Now, I don’t want to torment you with big words about life. Nor do I intend to speak some trivial New Year’s greetings to you. Instead, I’d like to remind everyone that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. It is my sincere belief that the world would be a better place if more people were to act on this premise.

To my dear friends, I’m looking forward to sharing all that is to come with you.

Stefan

It feels strange to start writing on my blog again. As you all might be aware, I don’t intend to use this blog as my private journal. But given the current circumstances, I feel the need to first publish the following note I’ve written before I can continue with the blog.

What happened left many of us in a void, a great gap with never ever can be filled again. It also left many questions never to be answered, and what remains are hints, memories and a deep feeling of sorrow. Life and its many ways can be brutal and unforgiving. One’s often left feeling too small to understand it, yet we still have to cope with it.

But, as wrong as this once granted notion felt when rediscovered again, life is also beautiful. It’s a seemingly absurd and brutal thought, but life continues. It will never be the same again, but it will continue in its often unknowable ways, being both frightening and delightful. But these, even if only few, extraordinary moments of delight are why we have to fight on, why we have to struggle onwards, why we have to remember the past yet look forward. Because life is precious.

Viele Menschen begegnen einem im Leben,
doch nur wenige hinterlassen Spuren im Herzen.