A recent poll by Gallup puts President Bush’s disapproval rating at 69%, the largest in the poll’s entire history.
I think we need to give credit where credit is due. It’s a rare feat to see politicians who deliver on their promises. And so I applaud Bush for achieving what he has promised again and again. For never was the country so united as in its disapproval of President Bush’s job handling. A heckuva job.
I know it’s pathetic to rumble about social network sites on my blog, but I never waver in front of my own stupidity. He.
This time, the target for my rant is StudiVZ, a social network site which is a combination of MySpace and (especially) Facebook. As it is in German, it might also feature David Hasselhoff, I don’t know. It certainly would explain some of its popularity, for Germans love David Hasselhoff.
Being the open minded grumpy old cynic I am, I visited their site today to learn more about the many exciting new ways to improve my social life. Below are some of their most convincing arguments, which I’ve freely translated to English. As a reference, the excerpts are taken from their self-advertising page “was bringt mir das” (what’s in it for me).
So, StudiVZ, tell me, why shoulda, coulda, woulda I join thy?
* Who knows whom, through whom, and who are the people you usually just know by sight?
Who know’s whom? Fantastic, I always wanted to crack Dunbar’s number.
* Who’s that cool guy in the second row of the auditorium?
Who’s that cool guy? Well, if my past encounters with other humans are any indication, he’s probably able to speak, in case you’d like to know.
Of course, you could also stalk him online until you’ve finally know enough about him to impress him with your vast knowledge about his life! On a second thought, that actually could work.
* Does my flatmate know him?
Well, if you care to know, there’s always the old fashioned way of doing that. Just drop your flatmate an e-mail.
* (Make) new acquaintances in the cafeteria, but without the obligatory exchange of numbers. First and last name are enough to find each other - if one wants. Staying in contact made easy.
Well, that’s quite practical, isn’t it? Just speaking for myself, there are hundreds of people I’d like to know better but don’t because I can’t get over the hurdle of writing down their phone numbers or e-mail addresses.
* Who’s interested in quantum mechanics as well?
The revenge of the nerds is upon us!
* Who are the friends of my best friend at his new university, and why?
Who are the friends of my best friend? Huh, feeling jealous, do we?
Still, this might be a new business venture for StudiVZ. They really should add a service to implement your best friend a GPS sensor to track him. That way, you can know everything about your best friend. Because surely, trusting someone as important as your best friend is way too risky. Of course, some might call it a break of privacy. I call it diversification of assets.
As for the why, maybe he got sick of having such good, intruding friends?
* Build New Crowds
I think this is the essence of my dislike for their site. That’s meant as an advertisement, but it makes me shiver. Although, I guess that’s the reason they didn’t call themselves an antisocial network site.
* Gossip and Chit-Chat
Hey, let’s build a crowd (see above) and see what happens. Answer: Gossip. Lots of it. But please, I thought online communities were meant as an escape from real life?
* What’s Thomas’ favourite website?
I’m sorry to say this, but it’s very likely that Thomas’ favourite website is a porn site. You do not want to see this.
* Did he already upload the newest pictures from the last party at his flat?
Photographic evidence of drunkards. Great, that will really impress the HR manager at your next job interview.
* How does it come Patrick knows Melanie?
Ugh, from stalking each other online, maybe?
* What does Daniel write about himself?
Reading one’s online profile strikes me as a perfectly reasonable way of getting to know each other deeply.
Too bad Daniel forgot to delete Flashdance from the standard I’m-a-sensitive-and-romantic-guy template. With such a favourite movie, friendship will never work. Next.
I guess I can’t end this rant without quoting one of my favourite authors, Douglas Coupland:
I remember in the 80s when cellphones first started to pop. I remember how, if you saw someone using a cellphone on a street, you immediately thought they were an asshole: gee, my phone call is so important I have to make it right here and right now! Twenty years later, we’re all assholes. We’re assholes at the supermarket’s meat counter at 5:30pm, phoning home to ask if we need prosciutto; we’re assholes driving in traffic; and we’re assholes wandering down the streets. And with cellphones and handhelds, we collapse time and space and our perception of distance and intimacy. [Emphasis added]
Well said. ’nuff said.
This blog needs a ’sarcastic’ tag.
In a time when* religion has long ceased to guide our lives and provide our answers; in a time when common sense is overturned by our instant attention span and distracted by short YouTube clips; in such times it is good to know that at least science still enlightens us.
For what caused great stir over centuries and was unbeknownst to mankind is now scientifically proven: Guys are clueless:
More often than not, guys interpret even friendly cues, such as a subtle smile from a gal, as a sexual come-on, and a new study discovers why: Guys are clueless.
More precisely, they are somewhat oblivious to the emotional subtleties of non-verbal cues, according to a new study of college students.
Well, so far, this doesn’t damage any grunting-macho stereotype (or self-image, for that matter), but there’s more:
Some might think the results come down to “boys being boys,” and so even the slightest female interest sparks sexual fantasy. But the study, to be detailed in the April issue of the journal Psychological Science, also found that it goes both ways for guys — they mistake females’ sexual signals as friendly ones. The researchers suggest guys have trouble noticing and interpreting the subtleties of non-verbal cues, in either direction.
Well, good to know. Please accept my apology for all my mishaps; past, present and future. And thank you, modern science, for my salvation…
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* As a non-native speaker of English, could someone enlighten me whether in a time when or in a time where is correct? Google finds 221′000 results using where, and only 139′000 for when. However, as it is obviously a reference to time and not to a place, I decided to go with in a time when. But don’t point at me, I’m clueless anyway.
Well, the humming is still a far stretch away from the Baha Men’s famous hit. But more importantly, who will be able to catch these dogs once they are out for real?
I had no idea how advanced modern robotics is. It’s simply jaw-dropping to see the balance this robot maintains. Given that this is a development project sponsored by the U.S. military, it probably won’t be long till a machine gun is mounted on its top. For more information on the project, Wikipedia has a short article.
And of course this is demo video. The footage consists of single shots which were then cut together, so it’s difficult to assess how advanced the BigDog project is. How consistent is the demonstrated balance under real conditions, and if fallen down, would it able to stand up by itself? For how long can it operate without recharging? Even the best robot is useless without any power.
However, these are all problems which can be overcome. The implications are difficult to estimate, and a lot will depend on whether the per unit prices will make mass production feasible.
Modern warfare could be much more mobile, given that such robots could be deployed almost anywhere, anytime. However, as already mentioned, power remains key. You don’t want your enemy to just collect all your multi-million dollar battle robots once they are powered out. Also, they are purely remote-controlled, which makes them vulnerable to all kind of digital attacks.
As such, I see their role more as watchdogs; equipped with sensors they could guard large areas and hold out until reinforcement arrives. Also, they probably would make both good backup fire units and advance storm units to assist real combat troops.
One advantage they have, though, is that they are immune against any kind of biological warfare. Unfortunately, this makes the use of biological weapons more likely. For example, they could seize control of an abandoned area until human troops are able to return on their own. As a counter measure, chemical weapons come to mind; heavy acid probably could damage them quite seriously. I have no idea what kind of alloy the military would use for them, though, or how that would affect weight (and thus mobility, speed and power consumption). And as already the case for today’s warfare, yer good old nuclear EMP’s would work.
So yes, this is both amazing and creepy.
